Lost

Not that I am feeling lost. But I feel lost somehow. I am here but I don’t know if I am where I want to be. In fact, I don’t know either where I want to go. I am just following up, for the first time, some kind of trail that was done before by others.
I don’t want to go home and, at the same, I miss the feeling of having something to come back to. Maybe because I realised I don’t have a “home”. Maybe because I still didn’t figure out where that is.
I realised for the first time in my life that I considered the fact that I was not going to base myself in a place I have been before. That’s huge. But where to, that is still unknown.
For the first time, I need to find myself. I am not lost, I know where I am. But I don’t find me here. For the first time, I am having strange thoughts. I am missing things. I am missing people more than things. And I don’t want to acknowledge. I am not sure what would happen if I do it.
It is not the first time I feel nostalgic. Or a bit sad. But it is the first time I am not sure why.
Maybe I just lost myself, only that.

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